When Life Changes in an Instant…

This is one of my favorite photos with my parents–not because it’s an especially good photo (well, it’s not a horrible photo of me even if I do have a really big ’80s hairdo, but my parents look miserable).  This photo is a favorite because of the history and lesson it represents-

This picture was taken on November 19, 1988 in the auditorium of my old high school.  It was taken just minutes after the Talledega County Junior Miss pageant.  I am smiling because the pageant was over, I had had fun, and I was looking forward to hanging out with my friends afterwards.  In that moment, I was happy. My parents are not smiling.  Earlier that same day, my Dad had accepted a transfer position with Avondale Mills in North Carolina–500 miles from my hometown! The only town I had ever known!  The only town my parents had ever known!  This was a great opportunity for my Dad, but before he and Mom could really be excited about this new venture, he had two major roadblocks to overcome–he had to tell my younger brother and me.  In that moment, they were not happy.

Looking back, I know my parents were excited about this opportunity and I am sure my brother (at that time a freshman in high school) had his own issues with this announcement, but I was a senior in high school and truly felt the world revolved around me.  In my mind, this was absolutely the worst possible thing to ever happen and my parents were the worst parents ever to ruin my life this way.  Nothing prepared me for this.  I had plans for my future.  Nothing would ever be the same.    By the time the roll of film was developed, I looked at this photo as moment right before everything I knew changed forever.  I hated this photo and everything it represented!  But for some reason, I kept the picture.  In that moment, I was far from happy.

Months went by.  My Dad started his new job.  But my parents decided that it would be best if I completed my senior year of high school in Alabama so my family lived in two different states for awhile.  A few days after graduation I moved to North Carolina and whether intentionally or not, I set out to make everyone around me as miserable as I was.  I never intended to stay in North Carolina–I had plans to return to Alabama in the fall to start college, but by the end of that summer, I realized that I didn’t want to be so far away from my family and I decided to stay.  I remember looking at this picture around that same time  at laughing at it.  How ridiculous we looked – me so oblivious to what was just around the corner and my parents dreading what was to come!  The fact that they do look so unhappy also showed me how much they loved my brother and me.  The decision to move was not a decision they made lightly and the only way it would work was if my brother and I were okay.  They made huge sacrifices and allowances to make the best of the situation for both of us. Maybe they didn’t set out to ruin my life after all.  In the moment that I first laughed, I wasn’t quite happy yet, but I wasn’t miserable anymore either.

Years went by.  I graduated from college, got married, bought a home, started a family—all in North Carolina.  At some point (I’m not sure when), I started to call North Carolina home.  I never stopped calling Alabama home though.  I just consider myself blessed to have both.  I would often look back on the picture.  In those moments, I was happy again and grew to love this photo more and more.

My Mom never liked the photo and often asked why I kept it.  My only copy of the color version of this photo is currently being restored because it appears my mother may have set her coffee mug on it!!  (Thanks Mom!)  To me the photo represents so much more than the moment in time it captures.  Yes, this photo was taken right before my world changed forever and is a true indicator that life can change in an instant.  Nothing prepared me either for the moment my Mom passed away.  I had plans for my future with my Mom.  Nothing will ever be the same.  But to me this photo is also proof to me that I can, have and will overcome my darkest days.  Just like I will now. And in that thought, I feel maybe not happiness but definitely hope.